Day 4 is a write-off for me. Truly it was me who wrote it off - I quit this morning. I am not proud of it, I just got the miserables with myself and stopped, rebelled even! I chose not to do Meltdown; I had slept in after a poor night's sleep and was hot and bothered before I got up and did not want to get sweaty...so I didn't. I did not physically crave forbidden foods, but made myself have a coffee to spite myself.
I could not bring myself to really go off the deep end though- I thought about gorging on chocolate but could not bring myself to do it :P Though I had the "Stuff it!!!" attitude this morning, in the back of my mind I had this other train of thought that said "Hang on a minute! You care about this challenge, about your commitment to yourself, you hate being the heaviest you ever have been apart from pregnant - you really DO want this! And you know you can, even if it is hard going."
So I have just done the Power Circuit, because I enjoy that one :)
Today is part of the journey. It wasn't the best of courses to take, yet it has reinforced for me the direction I want to take.
I'm back :D
(The crazy thing is that I HAVE positive results already - I am down almost 2lbs, I am not craving non-ED foods esp coffee, my muscles are losing their soreness and my densities are improving?! Go figure.)
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